Perception

Today I got an email from a dear friend.  It offered some much needed encouraging words.  Basically she also told me that I wasn't alone.  She shared with me some of her own trials and repeated that I am not alone.

She is totally right!

And I needed the reminder.

Of course I am not alone.  Everyone has trials.  Everyone has something.  And to everyone that something is huge.

After reading her email I started thinking.  Blogs, Facebook, social media is such a great thing.  Right?  I will admit I am addicted to Facebook, Instagram and my blog reader.  I check these three things way too often than I care to admit.  Why?  I love seeing my friends new baby.  I love hearing funny antics of friends kids.  I have a few blogs that uplift me every day.

But it also seems that every time I check these things a part of me gets discouraged too.  A voice goes off I the back if my head that says I will never take photographs like some of you.  I will never make fancy enough meals, write eloquent blogs, be frugal enough, own and fancy new house that looks like it should be in a a magazine...the list goes on and on.

I am horrible!  I am friends with you!  I shouldn't feel that way.  I can look through my Facebook list, I know there are a lot, but I know each of you.  I can say something positive about you.  I want the best for you.  So why do these feelings creep up in my mind?  Why do I let envy come in and jealousy take over?

And why do I go back and check my phone again in 3.2 minutes and have this same cycle start all over! Grrr

I honestly don't think it is a problem with cleaning up friends or blog lists.  I think it starts in my head.  And I can't be the only person who feels inadequate at times thanks to the web.

Can I?

(Please say no!)

The more I think about it, I think this:

I think if we could see everything...If we could see the whole picture we would feel different for each other.  Someone has cancer, has struggled with their marriage, unempoyment, infertility, illness, depression, raising their children...

There is a guy who sits outside by our Walmart every day.  He holds a sign that say "I'm hungry."  There are days I want to hold and sign with my troubles too.  So people will be nice and understanding.

Because I think the problem is that we only perceive the good stuff.  We only see a fraction of what we want to share.  And not many people want to open up and share the bad stuff.

-

Of course, there are good things that come from social media too.  I have a certain blog I read every day.  I do not personally know her, (and Wade makes fun of me for that) but she is the mother of 8 and her blog posts speak directly to me.  I look forward to her posts.  She knows who she is and her role in life.  It comes through in her writing and inspires me.  She is also very real about it. (I would put a link to her blog, but I don't know how from my phone...Moss Moments, look it up!)

Because, really...  

It comes down to this:

At the end of the day, I put that little negative voice aside and know, no matter what, I know I am a daughter of God.  I know I am loved.  I know that my role as a wife and mother, as a woman, is the greatest most important thing I will ever do on this earth.  I believe in the family.  The traditional family.  I have many, many things to be grateful for.  I have a role to play and I can show compassion and friendship without seeing people's "sign."

I made a goal this year to be more grateful.  There is joy and happiness every day.  I need to find it.  If finding it means spending less time on social media, than so be it.  If finding it means trying my hardest to push those negative inadequate feelings aside and looking for the good, than so be it.

Honestly, I don't have any good answers.  I am basically writing this post just to get it off my chest.  (And because I have to sit next to baby Lucy while she falls asleep, so blogging from my phone is something I can do in the dark! Lol...and yes, she is asleep now!)

So, I guess I am clearing the air.  If my blog or my posts have ever made you feel that way, I apologize.

We all have trials.

We are all trying our best.

And we all should find the good and encourage each other a little more.

The end.

Sunday Photo: 4

Tonight I was looking around a couldn't find Avery.  We were playing downstairs one minute and the next minute she was gone.  After looking around I finally found her... in Grandpa's room all cuddled up watching a movie together.  

Such a sweet moment.

Many of you know that we moved this last summer.  I haven't really gone into details on our blog, nor do I want too.  No one wants to read a blog full of complaints and bad stuff.  

But after much prayer and fasting we felt it was better for our family to change a certain situation we were in.  It would be a challenge and a very hard thing to do, but we knew it was the right thing for us.  We put the majority of our belongings into storage and moved to Wade's dad's house.  What started out as a temporary landing place for our family has grown into six months.  We love our community, our school.  And we have been very blessed, so I don't want to complain.  

But there are days.... 

There are days I feel down.  Days I don't know what the answer will be for our family.  What will happen next.

So,

I pray.  

I turn to The Lord and I find peace.

No, things are not perfect.  Things are not settled.  Things are far from what I have pictures them to be.  

But I know we made the right choice by coming here.  And that we are blessed.

Nights like tonight, when I see Avery cuddled up with Grandpa I know this can be such a positive blessing for everyone.

Last Monday I woke up with this resolve: There are things in my life I can control.  Things I can change, things I cannot change.  I can choose how I feel each day.  I can choose to be happy no matter the trials coming my way.  No, I don't have to be happy about the trials, but I can choose HOW that trial affects me and how I let it affect the way I treat others.

I know this isn't a new concept, but it was my "Aha moment" Monday morning.  These thoughts have stuck with me all week.  I have purposely thought about them before I have reacted to situations.  It has helped.  Seriously.

I don't want my kids to look back and remember this time in our lives as a trial when mommy was grumpy all the time.  I want them to remember that we had an adventure.  I want them to remember the blessings we have seen. I want them to know that we can do hard things and be happy.

So.

There will always be things we can change.  Things we cannot.  There will always be trials and things out of our control.

But how we react is the difference.

We have a Heavenly Father who is in charge, and I know he knows what he is doing.  That fact alone is something to smile about.

~~

Today, Lucy was sick.  I stayed home from church with her so she could take a long nap.  I was secretly looking forward to some reading time.

Things out of my control: forty minutes into her nap she woke up.  Grumpy and feeling yucky.  Of course, just as I was finally sitting down from cleaning up our morning, wanting to read my book!

Things in my control: we decided to watching Baby Einstein (which make Lucy clap and dance) and take a Sunday selfie of ourselves.

~~

Put a smile on your face.  It's Sunday.  The start of a new fresh week.  It's going to be a good one no matter what comes my way.

{Hanger}

Wade helped my nephew Tyler, who is an airplane mechanic, get a new tool box today. (It was 500 pounds!!)  Gage got to ride along, check out some of the planes and see the hanger.

Wade took some pretty good pictures and the boys all had a good time.

Thanks, Tyler for showing them around.

{keeping us busy}

Once again I have a ton of pictures on my phone and on Instagram and I haven't taken the time to blog.  So here is a longer long recap how we have been keeping busy in January.

January 1st my brother and his family from Wyoming came to Utah for a short visit.  We had dinner at my sister's house together.  Three of the six siblings together is a rarity.

And of course those cousins had fun.

(ok, over half those kids are mine, but they did have fun)

We missed church the first week of the month, thanks to coughs and sniffles.  

We got out a 750 piece puzzle to keep us busy.

The kids liked it for an hour, maybe two, but it really kept the "big" kids happy and entertained.

Avery is always asking me to take picture of her hair after I fix it.  I have a dozen or so pictures on my phone with pictures similar to this.  

Bonus points to anyone who can tell me how many kids are in the picture!

And my phone...it is always full of pictures Eli and Avery take.  Like this one, me and the girls looking through their hair bows one morning.

Eli loves it after I grocery shop and unload the groceries.  

He is pretty creative with the leftover bags.

I've found some pretty good deals at the DI this month.  I went to buy a book for a girl I read with in 4th grade.  Her book got all wet and I wasn't sure if she could buy another one (she wears the same thing every day) so I bought her a book for 50 cents!  Then I found the best deal! 15 of the same book (fifty cents a piece) - the exact number of students we read with in 4th grade.   They are students who have a tough time reading and this book was right on their level! (Black Lagoon Series) One girl was so excited to see the book, she said, "Wow!  A chapter book I can finally finish!"  

(She did finish it and told me all about it)

The kids also found a purple light saber at DI - the only color we didn't have.  And for 75 cents!  Sweet Deal!  Now everyone has one but Lucy.  Maybe we'll have to get her the double sided saber.

The school sent home some free tickets to a UVU basketball game.  We checked with the office and sure enough, they had some extra too - so one weekend we took Grandpa, Ted, Chandra, Keegan, Daesha and all of us to a game!  It was so fun!  Something we will totally have to do again!

The fourth grade had "Loved ones and literature" so Eli, Lucy and I got to hang out at the school one morning and have Gage read to us.  We got cookies too!  Our school here is so great!

Again - the random pictures I find on my phone.  I had no idea they even took this until I downloaded them to the computer!

Gage earned his Bear in Cub Scouts this month!  We have done a ton of his Bear at home this year.  He has worked pretty hard at keeping up with it all.

I found the trains in storage and got them out.  Little Eli was so happy!

(until Lucy broke his track)

They have totally kept all the kids entertained actually - Gage won't admit it, but I do find him building tracks "for the little ones" 

And another lovely random picture.  These kids and my phone.

I finally found something to do with my Christmas cards that works!  I had a Smash book - some scrapbooking tape and that's it!  I taped or glued all the pictures in and wrote a little note by each Christmas Card where or how we know the family!  We have friends all over the place!  I love this little Christmas Card book!

(If I could only find my Christmas cards from the last two years..they are  in storage...I would make those books too!  It was so fast and I love the result!)

I love having a hubby who can fix our car problems!  Our ignition (?) went out on the van yesterday.  The key would go in but it wouldn't turn.  It was so cold and we (me and the little three) were stuck at the grocery store:(  Wade was home to save the day!  Later in the day he got it home and fixed the whole thing in just an hour! And for half the cost of what the dealership was going to charge us for just the part!  Sweet!  Our little family of seven just doesn't fit in any vehicle, I was so thankful Wade could fix it so fast!

And with all the cold weather we all been wishing and hoping for warmer weather - so we can have a little breathing room....

(if you sit down - you will be accosted by five kids)

Spring better come fast - we are all ready for some space and to to play outside!

mom fail - fake snow

My mom fail of the week:

Monday the kids were out of school.  We had a nice lazy morning and let them sleep in.  Then after lunch (and an early nap for Lucy) we decided to head out to Thanksgiving Point.  Our pass runs out pretty soon, so we thought we would take advantage of the big kids being home from school.  I think everyone else in Utah (and probably Salt Lake) county had the same idea...the parking lot was so packed!  It was hard to even find a place to park.  I did NOT want to venture in there with 5 kids.  So Wade and I decided to go with game plan #2..finally take the kids to see Frozen.  We looked up the times at Thanksgiving Point and we had just missed the time.  So we headed to another theater and got in line.  But by the time we got to the front there were not even 4 seats together in the whole place:(  And we needed 6

One disadvantage to a big family I guess.

The kids were so sad.

On the way home they were so sad.  I had to think of a plan and think of it fast:

When we got home I told them all to go to the table and I would have a surprise: 

plates of fake snow appeared!

(shaving cream)

They had so much fun - Avery keeps requesting to play with it again!

After the shaving cream they all had to wash their hands  so they could do the next activity:

marshmallow snow men

So in the end, they were still pretty bummed we didn't see Frozen, or go to the museum, but they had a good time.  They got to eat lots of treats and it kept them busy!  

(We also saved $40 on movie tickets!)

Sunday Photo: 3

The five little hams lined up on the couch before church...

They are all so funny and different in their own way.  

I sit back and feel blessed by them every day.

  

They are loud, 

tiring, 

funny, 

emotional, 

ALWAYS hungry 

and such blessings to have.

Plus, no one said anything about poop today at church.

(and the Seahawks are winning!)

So I'll call it a success!

Happy Sunday.

Sunday Photo: 2

Today was Eli's big day!  

He turned 3 this past year so the first week in January he started a new class at church and moved out of nursery to Sunbeams class in Primary! 

(we were sick last week, so today was his first official day)

 He is so excited to go to Primary like Gage, Noah and Avery!  

It's tradition in our family that when a kid moves from nursery to Sunbeams class that they get their very own copy of The Book of Mormon!  

He has been so excited to have his own book.  When we read every morning during breakfast he opens his copy and moves his little finger along anywhere on the page.  He always beams!  He looks at me and says, "me reading mom!"

Some funny stories about Eli today:

We still are working on going potty.  (Particularly #2.)  This morning I tried so hard to get him to go and I know he needed to, but he wouldn't.  He didn't want to wear a diaper to church (and I didn't want to put him in one either).  So about 15 minutes after sacrament meeting starts...after Wade had already taken Lucy in and out 2 times and Gage and Noah have been separated from wrestling in the pews over a lego magazine,  he starts dancing again and I say, "Eli...don't go potty in your pants!"  He replied, "me already did mom"

yeah, great.

I take him out to the bathroom and find that he just went a little but he won't go at church.  Either way, he needs new underwear so we have to go home.  We head back to get the keys from Wade, and head home.  Good thing we live in Utah and home is 3 minutes away!  Seriously!  We get home, he gets cleaned up, does his business and we head back to church.  We finally make it back to our pew for the last 10 minutes of the meeting.  Eli is busy eating his star burst candies he got for going potty.  He gets a pink candy out of his pocket, Avery sees it and tries to grab it and Eli yells (very loud....our ward is super quiet too!!!) 

"That is my candy!  You can't have it!  I went poop for it!"

I just wanted to crawl under the bench.  Everyone around us was laughing so hard.

After the service was over the dad behind us stood up and sarcastically said, "Sacrament meeting: the most relaxing 70 minutes of my week"

agreed.  

but you can only teach them it's the right place to be by being there.

I overhead Eli tell his primary teacher today, "me go poop AND pee."  Maybe she missed the annoucement during sacrament.  We found out later today that he also told her, "You can't pick you nose. My dad says it is gross and you can't do it."

At least we have taught him one thing.

Eli loves to sit with Lucy and watch Baby Einstein shows.  There is a preview of the Little Einstein show on the DVD and it says something about how the shows are for preschoolers, toddlers and babies.  Avery likes to tell Eli that he is a toddler, and that she is preschooler.  

This evening I was talking to Eli about how proud I was of him going to primary.  I gave him a hug and said, "you are such a big boy!"  He replied,

"yeah, me big.  But me a toddler too,  I like to watch baby movies with Lucy."

Yep.  You can be a toddler too Eli.  Don't grow up too fast on me.

You already kinda are:)

punishment

This afternoon Noah got in trouble and he was not very happy with the punishment I gave him. 

(imagine that!)  

He quickly found a notebook an pen and came up with his own list of ideas we can use for punishments.

For something not too bad you get either:

1.  Stay in bed for 10 minutes

2.  No movies for a whole day

For something medium bad you have three options:

1.  Get tied up

2.  No breakfast

3.  20 balls thrown at your face

And for something really really horrible you have these three options:

1.  Grounded  

(he told me he doesn't know what this means, but Gage told him to write it)

2.  Eat a jalapeno

3.  Eat hottest pepper

~~~~

I have no idea where he comes up with this stuff.  Seriously!  I am not joking when I say that the punishment I use the most with this kid is making him sit in my room and write down 10 things he is thankful for.  (He is SUCH a complainer) He sits in there FOREVER and writes the word "blah, blah, blah" over and over.  

Really - how bad is that punishment? It shouldn't be that hard. 

Perhaps next time I give up on the thankful list and get out a hot peppers! 

Haha!

no, i really won't make him eat hot peppers.  just in case someone is wondering.

Suday Photo: 1

Everyone has sniffles or coughs.  So today we stayed home, watched movies, cuddled and worked on a 750 piece puzzle (that we almost have done).

Downton starts tonight!  Who's excited?

(Not Wade! Haha)

Happy First Sunday photo of 2014!

{2013 in the books}

We read a lot in 2013.  Not just me, but we...our whole family.  Wade has really loved reading outloud to the boys at bedtime and this year has been no different.  I am amazed at how many books they have got through this year.  Hopefully I remember them all!

In no certain order:

The Hobbit, J.R. R. Tolkien
The Candy Shop Wars, Brandon Mull
Fablehaven, Brandon Mull
Fablehaven, Rise of the Evening Star, Brandon Mull
Fablehaven, Grip of the Shadow Plaque, Brandon Mull
Fablehaven, Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary, Brandon Mull
Fablehaven, Keys to the Demon Prison, Brandon Mull
Percy Jackson, The Lighting Thief, Rick Riordan

The Magians Newphew, C.S. Lewis

Hands down their favorite has been the Fablehaven series.  Noah already wants to read it again.  We just started the Spirit Animals series, since Brandon Mull was part of it.  So far they are really enjoying it too! Wade and I read the Beyonders series too.  I am sure it's just a matter of time before he reads those out loud to the kids too.  I think it's safe to say we are Brandon Mull fans.

~~~

I saw this (click to follow the link) post the other day about reading goals on a page I follow on Facebook.  I thought it was great. I haven't made a reading goal in a few years as to how many books I want to read in a year.  But this year I believe I think I should!  I read 57 books last year.  (I remembered two more book last night after I posted 55 on facebook yesterday!)

I have two reading goals for 2014:

1.  I would like to read 65 books in 2014.  I really enjoy reading early in the morning before the kids wake up and I have drastically reduced how much tv I watch at night.  I know that is why I have read so many more books this year, but now that Downton and Sherlock are starting again I might have a rough start.  I think I can reach 65 books though.  I have already finished 2....63 to go!

2.  I also want to start updating My Reading Spot book blog.  It's sadly been neglected for a few years. (I had 3 more babies during those years it's been neglected.  Coincidence?)  I made it private because it was getting spam comments and honestly I was embarrassed at my lack of posting. Recently I have  tried to keep track of the books I read on GoodReads, but I would love to sometime during this year, re-open my book blog.

~~

My top ten 11 (because I wrote them all out and realized there were 11 instead of 10 and I couldn't cut one book from the list) books from 2013.

In no certain order:

Blackmoore, Julianne Donaldson
I loved Edenbrooke.  I was so excited when another book by Julianne Donaldson came out.  This one was excellent too.












Friends and Foes, Sarah M. Eden
I had a hard time picking which one of Sarah Eden's books I wanted to put down for my top 10.  I have enjoyed every one I have read.  This one is the first book about a family of brothers and I have enjoyed the characters.  I love how her books are not series, but the characters mix.  I have read 8 of Sarah's 10 books.











Covenant Motherhood, Stephanie Dibb Sorensen
One of my sisters sent me this book and I really enjoyed it.  I loved that it didn't make me feel guilty for things I do or don't do.  It offered good ideas and made me feel good about the things that I do, do.

















Pollyanna, Eleanor H. (Eleanor Hodgman) Porter
This book make me smile and laugh.  And look for the good in each day. I want to read it out loud to my kids.

What Would a Holy Woman Do, Wendy Watson Nelson
This book made me change how I think.  I got it at the library and I would love to add it to my own collection someday. In fact, if I could I would send it to my mom, my sisters, and my girlfriends.  How would you act differently, what would you change if you thought every day - What would a holy woman do?












Caroline Bingley, Jennifer Becton
One of my best friends sent me this book.  Most Pride and Prejudice fans don't like Caroline, but this book was fun and I ended up loving Caroline in the end.














My Own Mr. Darcy, Karey White
A modern day story of Pride and Prejudice.  This was a fun, quick, clean love story that made me laugh and smile.  I read a couple other books by Karey White and this one was by far my favorite.

5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges, Richard and Linda Eyre
I love every book I have read by the Eyre family. They are realistic.  This book was helpful to me.












Divergent, Veronica Roth
I jumped on the bandwagon and read the first two Divergent books earlier this year.  I just finished the 3rd (a little dissapointed!) but the first one I really enjoyed.  It's sitting on Wade's nightstand, he is going to read it next.

In Trying Times, Just Keep Trying, Merrilee Boyack
We've had a doozy of a year this year.  And then I saw this book at the library and had to read it!  Boyack survived breast cancer and a lot of chaos in her life.  She offered inspiring scriptures and quotes.  It was an uplifting read.

Bud, Not Buddy, Christopher Paul  Curtis
I read this book because I am currently reading it at school with a group of 5th graders.  I brought it home the first day we handed it out and read the whole thing.  It is so fun!  I want to read it out loud to my kids.  The kids at school laugh and giggle at parts and really enjoy it too.  It has some teaching moments in there as well.  I look forward to reading some more books by Christopher Paul Curtis this year.


~~

There are my top books from 2013.  Have you read any of these books?  What books did you read in 2013 and enjoy? I've got 63 more books to read this year and I am always looking for suggestions. :)