Merry Christmas

Sunday Photo: 39

We've had quite the ride, the last couple weeks.  I feel like just when we get back on feet from one thing we get hit with another.  I might catch up.  Someday.  I might blog about thanksgiving, and November.  I just might get to the Christmas cards sitting at the table.  Or I might not.

This week I was reminded of the importance of putting down my phone, putting away my computer, putting away distractions and being there.  

This weekend I picked up the book, The Best Yes, by Lysa Terkeurst.  I am loving this book so far. This sections really spoke to me:

"Just that morning I'd been praying and asking God to show Himself to me.  I asked God of the Universe to interect my life with His revelation, then I got up from my prayers and forgot to look.  Forgot to seek Him.  Forgot to keep my heart in tune with His voice.  His invitation.

All because of the chaotic rush of my day.

When all of life feels like an urgent rush from one demand to another, we become forgetful.  We forget simple things like where we put our car keys or that one crucial ingredient for dinner when we run into the grocery store.  But even more distrurbing, we forget God.  We say with our mouths that we are trusting and relying on God but are we really?"

Life has been so rushed lately.  We have been knocked down with so many blows.  I feel like we can't catch up.  But I decided it's ok.  I am a huge believer that there is good in every day.  We have had some days lately when I have to look pretty hard to find the good.  But there is good. 

This week I'm reminded that the good can just be simple things.  And letting some not-so-important things go. I'm sorry, but the Christmas cards really might not get done.  Tonight after dinner instead of bundling everyone up and rushing to a church activity we wrestled with Dad under the tree. I'm positive the Christmas activity tonight was fantastic.  But we needed some together-not-rushed time.  And it wasn't anything fancy, but it was just what we needed.

I'm looking forward to spending the rest of our busy holiday season in a similar fashion.  Simple and just what we need.

Sunday Photo: 38

I haven't been very diligent with the Sunday Photo posts the last couple weeks.

Life is just busy.

But I needed to post something at the top of the blog besides poor sick Eli.

We saw Santa at the church Christmas party on Friday night.  Avery then woke up Saturday morning sick and has been sick with a super high fever every since. She's just so sad.

Hopefully this week I can post about November, Thanksgiving and catch up!

{November}

November was a busy month.  Noah and Lucy had birthdays.  Then I took a blogging sabbatical for a while and now I need to catch up.  

Noah and I got happy mail - he got Pokemon cards for his birthday and I got a book that I was part of the launch team for. 

Wade's sister and I went to the pinners conference.  I really wanted to go last year and couldn't make it work, I'm glad she went with me this year.  We took a class by Becky Higgins.  I had a lot of fun and can't wait to go again!

Lucy at bathtime

Ready for school and watching the snow.

Lucy gets to spend a lot of time at the office with us these days.  She's ok with that because it usually means lots of snacks and whatever Netflix show she wants.

She also loves story time - one time they brought a canoe!

Noah developed a bit of asthma in November.  The poor kid just got off one medication and then got another.  He just can't win.

Charlotte, Gage and Noah and I were extra's for a Studio C skit.  I can't tell you more than that until they air it - hopefully soon!  We had fun, but learned just how much really goes into comedy skits!  We were there 7 hours and they still weren't done!

In November Eli had his turn with seizures and the hospital.  Poor guy.

He's a trooper with his medicine - even though he says it tastes absolutely gross (Noah agrees).

Gage finished robotics club at school.  He thought this was really cool and had a lot of fun.

We couldn't resist and put up the kids christmas tree downstairs before we left for Thanksgiving.

We took a fast road trip to Washington for Thanksgiving.

We had a good time visiting with my parents, we got to see our friends the Bell's and their kids and their new baby.  Lucy slept through thanksgiving dinner and then ate marshmallows when she woke up.

Eating out with Grandpa and Grandma

And we took a trip to the beach one afternoon...because Wade isn't happy if we drive all the way to Washington and don't go to the beach.  Even though it's cold and windy.

Lucy made sure that Barbie got to play at the beach too.

We went out to my parents tree farm and checked on our trees.  We each picked a tree on the farm before we moved from Washington.  They were tiny before and they have grown!

We also got to visit with my Aunt Pam and my cousins.  I haven't seen my cousin Kevin or ever met his wife or little boy, who is the same age as Eli, but we had a good time visiting with them.  We were sad to have missed Uncle Dennis' funeral by just a few days.

Black Friday my mom and I did a little bit of shopping, but mostly I did our shopping on Amazon this year.  But Avery had a fun time with grandma on this trip too.  She loved it when we had a girls trip for ice cream.  

It was a fast trip and then before we knew it we had to head home.  We stopped in Portland to see Micah and Alison and then decided to stay the night in Boise.  We usually always do the drive in one day, but it was nice to have it split into two for a change.  There is never enough time to spend in Washington now that we don't live there. We are already counting down the days till Grandma and Grandpa can visit us here in Utah in the spring.

{Eli}

Monday morning Eli woke up late and was really sleepy.  I got the other kids off to school, ran three miles and he was still super sleepy.  He didn't want to get dressed, he didn't want to do much.  This is so out of character for him.  He is usually up first and ready for school before the other kids leave.  So I let him stay home.  Maybe he just needed some extra rest from the weekend.

Around 11, he threw up once.  It was mostly spit, but then I figured he was coming down with some sort of stomach bug.  Around 12:30 he threw up again.  He didn't have a fever or any other symptoms.  The doctor and staff at the first hospital we went to thought he must be getting sick and that brought on the seizure.  But looking back I don't think that was the case at all. (more on that later)

He wanted to watch netflix and lay in bed.  I sat in the tv room next to his bedroom and wrote a couple blog posts and scheduled some posts for My Reading Spot.  I could see him from where I was sitting.

Around 1:30 he made a sound like a cough. I thought maybe he had thrown up again so I asked from my seat if he was ok.  He didn't reply so I went in to check on him and he had thrown up some spit and was not responding.  He was seizing.

I yelled for Wade who came running down.  He told me later he was upstairs helping the big kids get started on their homework when he heard me yell and he had the though - either Eli has thrown up everywhere or he was having a seizure.  He wasn't sure why he thought that - but he was.

Wade took over and told me immediately to call 911.  We've never called 911 that fast for a seizure.  And while he doesn't have a history of one, I knew our other kids have had ones that last a super long time.  Wade said he wasn't going to mess around.  I talked to 911 and told the kids what was going on.  Seizures seem to last forever when you are watching them.  Eli was not stopping.  He didn't stop until EMS got here, gave him a nasal treatment of Midazolam.  (We have this emergency medication for Noah, but it didn't even cross my mind to give it to Eli, but we wouldn’t have known the dose anyway).

EMS took vitals but decided to take him to the hospital because by now the seizure had lasted about 10, maybe 15 minutes and it wasn't stopping.  It finally calmed down and stopped when we placed in him the ambulance.  He lost continence and his body was still and his eyes were shaking to the left side.  It was such a long time.  

I left Gage in charge of all the kids and rode in the ambulance with Eli.  Wade came in the car and I called his Dad to tell him what was going on and that the kids were at home by themselves, and a little freaked out.

At the hospital they ran some tests, blood work, urine sample, did a CAT scan.  They gave him some IV fluids.  I'm sure that is all you do for a seizure until the person wakes up.  I've been there before. There isn't much you can do but observe and wait. But he wasn't waking up.  Maybe about 2 hours later I noticed he was doing something funny with his mouth again and we noticed he wasn't responding again. His eyes were shaking to the left side again.  Wade ran out and told the nurse at the station and they told us they would get the Doctor.  I realize that a seizure feels like forever, but it really felt like forever for them to do anything.  We had to ask a second time if anyone was going to come help us. 

They weren't busy. I believe we were the only patients in the ED. (Maybe one other patient?)  We had made the choice to go to the brand new hospital closer to our house. It was a nice facility but with that you also get growing pains.  Later that day Wade told me that we very well could have been the first child they have ever seen with seizures.  I'm sure they were all figuring it out.  But we needed to give him the emergency drugs.  I feel like I typically am a person who takes the side of the doctor.  I always give them the benefit of the doubt, I know they are human, they try their best, they work hard and make fast decisions and are just doing the best they can.  I am married to one.  But I have never stood in an emergency room watching my child seize and felt so alone.  

If I am in the emergency department and my child is seizing, alone is NOT a feeling I should have.

It continued on for 10-15 minutes. In the mean-time his left side, particularly his hand was getting worse and worse. He also lost continence again.  They had to give him 2 doses of Ativan and a dose of Keppra.  Finally...if you've ever witnessed a seizure, you know it seems like an eternity - finally he stopped and was just sleeping.

The staff there kept complimenting us for keeping it all together.  I do NOT have it all together.  Trust me.  But I've seen Noah and Avery seize.  I've seen my own sister seize.  It's NEVER fun to witness a seizure.  It's even worse when it's your kid.  But I can cry about it later.  I can't lose it in the moment.  If I cry too, then who will take care of them?  I don't have it all together.  I cried a lot that day.  Trust me.  One of the nurses randomly gave me a hug when we left and I lost it.

The ED doctor then put together the orders to transfer us to Primary Children's hospital.  As much as I didn't want to do this, Wade said it was a good thing.  If she was not comfortable with us there, then we needed to be in the best place for Eli.  And that is Primary Children's.

The same EMS guys came back and transferred us to Primary's by ambulance.  They seemed a little disappointed to see us when they showed up.  They told us they hoped that we had gone home. We had too.

At this point Wade went home.  He took care of the kids, our neighbor brought in dinner and he put them to bed.

Eli got checked in to the ED at Primary Children's...where everyone helped me and checked on me so often.  They said all I had to do is yell if he had another seizure and they would all come running.  I saw so many doctors, nurses and staff I was hardly ever alone.  I felt so much better being there.

I always joke that Primary Children's is like a black hole, or a casino. If you’ve ever spent anytime there you probably understand.  Not many windows, not many clocks, they run on their own time table, you never know what time it is, or what time you will leave.  I didn't have any service on my phone.  Not one bit. My phone said “NO SERVICE” I had to use the hospital phone to call Wade to tell him we made it.  I didn't have anything but my purse, my phone (which was useless) and some extra pants for Eli.  So I sat.  I thought about writing some blog posts out in the notes app on my phone, but I couldn't wrap my head around anything.  I looked at the kindle app on my phone, but didn't have anything downloaded. I don't even have any good games on my phone, ask the kids. The only thing that would work was my scriptures.  So I read those. And I watched Eli sleep.

After a couple hours we were transferred to the Rapid Treatment Unit for the night.  And when the CNA checked me into the room she let me know I had the only room on the wing that had phone service!  I could have hugged her.  Hallelujah!  I had to sit right next to the window to get it, but it was better than nothing.

Wade came up after getting the kids to bed and brought me dinner and a bag full of essentials...clothes, toothbrush, and DIET COKE.  The nurses all agreed he is the best husband ever for bringing me a bag full of cans of diet coke.  He hung out with me until around 11.  Eli was still just sleeping away.  He did develop a fever in the evening once we got to Primary's.  This happened once with Noah too, a fever AFTER the seizure.  One neurologist in Washington explained it to us that that was common because the body is fighting back after the seizure, it's recovering.  I don’t' think Eli was getting sick with any flu or stomach bug.  He had a small fever that night for a couple hours but other than that he has shown no signs of being sick.

I think he was trying to wake up because throughout the night he would randomly sit up (even though his eyes were still closed) and then face plant into the side of the bed or whereever he would land.  They had padded the bedrails for him, which I was so thankful for.  I didn't sleep much because I tried to listen for him all night and would try to catch him and help him lay back down.  Around 4:30 the nurse came in and was taking his vitals and he woke up wondering where he was and what was going on.  He really wanted that IV out of his hand!

We spent from 4:30 on awake.  He ate some crackers and juice.  We watched some movies and the Disney channel.  He still was pretty uncoordinated.  For example he wanted to get out of his bed and walk down the hall to see the movies.  But when he got out of bed he walked right into a wall and looked at it like “Where did that wall come from” He was really hungry and couldn’t wait to order breakfast.  He ordered eggs, bacon, and 5 pancakes.  He ate almost every single bit of it all.  Then he had chocolate milk and juice and hot chocolate.  He also ate half a bagel with cream cheese from the snack cart.  I totally DON’T THINK he had the stomach bug or flu.  No one ever wakes up less than 12 hours from a stomach bug and eats all that food.  When we got home from the hospital he ate lunch and then 3 pieces of pizza for dinner! One of my best friends brought by donuts today and he has ate 3 so far – and is just eating so much!

In addition to that, I just don't have a gut feeling it was the flu or a big that caused this.  After reading though some of my older blog posts everything is so similar to Noah's story.  Noah had a prolonged seizure right after throwing up in his bed once.  I remember it wasn't really food throw up either, if that makes sense.  It was mostly spit.  A nurse yesterday said it could be the brain, the seizure causing him to throw up.  Also, Noah was 5 years old and 4 months when he started having them without a fever.  Eli is 5 years old and 3 months.

They did an EEG test which didn’t show much.  The neurology team said it shows some slowing in one part, but nothing major.  Noah’s EEG’s have always been inconclusive.  I would bet Eli’s are really similar.  Noah’s seizures were long in time like Eli’s and they were very similar in the way they looked too.  Noah was 5 when he started having them without a fever too.  The only difference is Noah had febrile seizures starting at 12 months.  Eli has NEVER had a problem with any seizures.  We joke that he was our little surprise baby – but the surprise baby that came with no health problems at all.

(they gave him play dough that he got to take home - he had such a good time playing with that)

By the end of the morning we were released with orders to start taking Keepra daily.  I am completely fine with this plan. I wasn’t going to leave the hospital until they gave me prescription for it anyway.  When Noah started having seizures similar to this we waited.  We didn’t want to start daily medications.  He had a couple ones a couple months apart before we realized that he did need daily medication.  We were slow to start it.  But he took it for 2 (almost 2 1/2 years) and was seizure free.  Almost a year ago we weened him off and he has done great.  Because of that the team of neurologist and I all agreed that this would be a good action plan for Eli too.

He will follow up in the next couple days with Noah’s neurologist to confirm this plan.

Because the seizure was pretty much on the left side of his body and he had so much medication he didn’t have the best coordination on Tuesday.  It is improving but he still wobbles a little bit walking.  He fell off the couch Tuesday afternoon and then jumped up and yelled ‘I’m okay mom!’  

I am a big believer that no matter how bad your day is that there is good in every single day.  If you look you can always find the Hand of God. 

This happened on Monday.  Wade’s office is closed on Monday and he was home.  This happened just 20 minutes after the big kids came home from school.  They are big enough and responsible enough to take over and watch Lucy.  Gage really did such a great job.  He later told Wade that night that Lucy was having a hard time during the afternoon and he couldn’t stop her from crying.  So he went outside and got some snow in a bowl and she played with that at the table for a long time.  He was such a great brother to step up and take care of everyone, even though he was worried and scared for Eli too.  That’s a lot to ask, but he did a good job. I am thankful that I didn’t go upstairs to talk to the kid after school on Monday. I had the thought to go talk to them and welcome them home, but I also had the thought that I needed to stay downstairs with Eli.

I am thankful for modern medicine. I am thankful this isn't our first time dealing with this.  It doesn't get easier and it's espcially hard this time because Eli's never had any problems. But I am thankful I have a prior knowlege to what is going on and how to handle this. I am thankful for the love and support we have felt.  Eli has been spoiled since being home.  He has had so many people ask about him and brought by treats, toys and balloons!  He says this is like his birthday!  He is so spoiled!  A friend dropped off a 12 pack of diet coke on my porch and it made me cry!  

This completely caught us off guard.  But I have felt prayers from family and friends all across the country and and I know that has strengthen us and helped us get through this.  Eli is home and will get to stay home with me for the week.  No doctors told me that, I just am not sure I want to let him out of my sight for a while.  He can be my little buddy while I watch him and see how he adjusts to this medication.  

(just a couple hours after being home I went to change laundry and came back and couldn't find him on the couch or anywhere - he was sitting at the table drawing this picture of Eli and Mom - holding hands. Since being in school he usually draws pictures of himself and Mrs. Gasser holding hands, so I'm glad to see I'm back in his life again.;)

I am so thankful that since he woke up his little funny little personality and happy temperament have shined through.  When the hospital employee gave us the choices from the snack cart Eli told her he wanted a bagel and hot chocolate.  Then he paused and said (with a funny sneaky little grin on his face) that he wanted a bagel and coffee.  Then he bust out laughing and said “I don’t even know what coffee is mom!”

(we don’t drink coffee for those who don’t know that)

Funny little guy.

We are so thankful for him and love him tons.


(if you want to read more you can click on the seizures label at the bottom of this post, or on the sidebar.  I'm not sure that shows up in the mobile view, but it will in normal web view.  I always need a tissue (or two) when I read through these posts)

Sunday Photo: 37

I decided to hurry and snap a picture of the kids as they ran out the door for church this morning.

As you can tell the girls thought this was a great idea. 

The boys, not so much.

This past week I took Noah and Lucy for their well child visits at the pediatrician.  Noah has randomly been having a hard time breathing at night - we figured it was a touch of asthma, nothing to worry too much about.  But then this week it go so much worse!  The day of his appointment he got a breathing treatment there, he then had to go get a chest x ray. (OH...and the chest x-ray cleared him of pneumonia, but it showed a flag for scoliosis so we get to go back for another test! Seriously??!!)

We picked up an inhaler for him, but he still has such a hard time breathing.  It helps occasionally.  Friday he came home from school because he just couldn't catch his breath...he decided to come home and miss a class party and a house meeting - his two favorite parts of the week!  :(

It's not always when he is running around, it's not always at night when he is resting, we haven't changed laundry soaps, we dusted and cleaned his room.  It's such random times and we can't really figure it out.  But it stresses me out!  He was doing so good off his seizure medicine.  It will be one year next month.  And now we have to go back on some sort of medication.  BOO! 

Really??!

Just one more thing.  

And Wade is always wondering why I drink so much Diet Coke.

Yesterday we made him sit around the house and do nothing all morning because we (me the older boys and their cousin Charlotte) had been selected to be extras for a Studio C skit and he was SO super excited to do it.  We can't post anything about the skit yet - but I can tell you it's going to be a good one!  Plus we had so much fun.  And we found out just how much work really goes into those tiny little comedy sketches.  So much time!  We were there 6 hours and then got released to go home. But they still weren't done!  Noah did okay and we sat around a lot, so that was helpful.  

Today we relaxed and rested a lot more after church.  I made pumpkin and apple pies for a treat - Noah's favorite is pumpkin and maybe deep down I just felt a little bit like spoiling him since he is being such a trooper.

I think that is totally acceptable to do as a mom, right?  

Probably one of my finest mom moments this week came tonight when I let Lucy eat straight chocolate syrup in a bowl with a spoon.  She didn't want pie and she couldn't figure out why her ice cream was white and not brown.  

I'm with you Lucy - vanilla ice cream is kinda a disappointment.

I have a timehop app on my phone that reminds me what I posted or pictures I took on this day a year ago, two years ago, three years ago - you get the picture.  It's always a little bit fun to look at.  Today I opened it up to find this post (click for link) about Avery and answers to prayers.  I needed this quote this morning and I am glad I found it.  What a great reminder.  

Happy Sunday.

Here's hoping to a much better week ahead.

{Private}

For no certain-huge reason I decided to make this blog private.

I am trying to gather a larger readership on My Reading Spot, I am trying to grow that as a community and possibly an income...feel free to share that website with friends and family - follow it on facebook/instagram/pinterest.  :)
I'm just not sure I want the two linked.

If you are reading this you must have passed the test.
Way to go!  You are awesome!

{Three!}

Lucy May is now 3!

I can't believe that my baby girl is now 3.  We've never had a three year old and not another baby.  It's such a strange/bitter sweet thing to think about.  She is the only one left at home with me in the mornings and it is so strange to only have one kid.  She's pretty good at self-play if that means she get to self-watch-a-show...but we really need to get better at her just playing.  

Since we combined Lucy and Noah's birthday dinners this year she had a pretty low key birthday-day with her dad (I got to work at the office).  She is such a daddy's girl - she probably would have picked to spend the day with  him even if I had to work or not.  She got to play at the play place at McDonalds for lunch too - and she got cake.  She really wanted pink cake with chocolate frosting.  She loves Barbies.  Avery was never really into them - but Lucy was really interested in them so I bought her one a few months ago to see if she would play with it -and she carries it everywhere.  So for her birthday we got her a Cinderella and a Rapunzel Barbie.  (She actually picked them out and then forgot that we bought them - that will be the last year we will ever be able to do that!)  She now carries all three barbies everywhere with her.  

When we got to the library together every week she loves going to the movie section and looking at the Barbie movies.  She pulls each movie out, studies the cover and then will say "actually already seen that" (even if she hasn't) then she'll find the winner movie and we'll be on our way.

I've mentioned before that Lucy loves to do things on her own time and in her own way.  She never crawled - if you remember - she had that funny monkey/crawl/scoot thing and she didn't walk forever!  I thought she was going to be in nursery scooting around but she finally decided to do it one day.  She does not like heights - she doesn't like being on top of things, tables, changing tables, furniture.  She is really isn't a climber.  But recently when she gets mad at me she will go somewhere (like outside) and climb up on the picnic table (or in her room on the dresser) and then cry and cry that she can't get down.  If you can get up there on your own...you can get down on your own, but she's the baby so we almost always save her from her distress.

Lucy had her three year old check up today and passed with flying colors.  She is growing great.  The Dr. can still hear her heart murmur.  Sometimes I forget all about that crazy first year she had.  She is doing great now.  She in the middle of the two year stretch between appointments.  

I should be all over the fact that Lu is my last one in diapers - and get her out, but again - she has no interest and will get it in her own time.  I tried a little bit last week but she just kept asking me "why mom"  the whole time.  Silly silly girl.

Lucy loves being outside.  She loves the backyard and is always outside playing in leaves, water, dirt or mud.  She was so excited for snow.  She was in tears this morning when she woke up and there was no snow.  She came up to me with huge crocodile tears and said "just frost mom.  just frost"

Lucy could easily turn into a carnivore.  She is my little meat eater!  She loves chicken, ham, sausage, bacon, fish.  She loves cheese.  I don't every worry about her not getting enough protein!  She likes fruit (occasionally) and she loves peas from the garden.  She's not a carb eater like my other kids...other than pretzels.  She likes pretzels and pancakes.

Her favorite colors are pink and purple.  She also says her favorite people are Daddy, Charlotte, Gage, Grandpa and Casey.  She says Kenzie, Avery and Eli are her best friends.

She's a pretty decent sleeper. She loves her little toddler bed and she loves her owl and pillow pet.  She won't anyone put covers on her, if you try to sneak in her room at night and cover her up she wakes up and throws them off.

Lucy loves nursery class at church.  This is the highlight of her week.  She also really loves story time and going to the library with me...but when story time is over and she is done - she is DONE. I have to keep a close eye on her because she will push the doors open and just leave and be waiting at the car for me.    Lucy also really loves spending time at the office with us.  Which is good, because I think that is going to be where this little one spends a lot of time with us, since she doesn't start school for 3 more years.

She loves to read and watch Tinkerbell and Barbie movies.  She can name most letters and their sounds.  She's a smart little one!

We love little Lucy Lu.  

We are so glad she is part of our little family.  

She makes a perfect little caboose.